Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Regret.....I Can Only Feel

I wish I can use any time travel medium and re-enter my past to proofread my life's story. If that happens then I won't be regretting over or I must say crying over spilled milk.

I know....... I know everything. every aspect of life....deeply understand these sentence,"whatever happens, happens for good, Don't regret over past, You should think positive, see brighter side of the life..blah blah blah...things. Apart from knowing all the good things about life and posting all those motivational quotes on Facebook..... I still feel regret over my life....

I believe m an artist by heart...but never took life so seriously. I always choose the simplest way to move on in the life....but didn't listen to my heart. I have tortured my heart many times...several times.

Being a kind person for animals...I'm the cruelest one for myself. I shouldn't be writing such personal things...but only writing things can treat my depression....depress....Yes I 'm.

I have chosen Biology over Maths...because I hate maths or u can say I can't understand the single line geometry also
but I love biology...Thought to become a doctor but still don't understand physics....

With biotech I turned on to believe my future as a Scientist...but my mind never worked as a researcher.

Though I gained a pretty good knowledge over my taken subjects but still I regret.

The only thing I can see whenever I closed my eyes (imagination) the designs, figures, colors...yes I love to design dresses. From School days I'm drawing and designing dresses...never learned or trained. I love sketching, painting....I don't know where is my first canvas painting today but drawn it beautifully without taking any training...stood at 1st place in school for,"The best entry in senior group...Camel drawing contest"..I can gladly say that.....But then also I didn't listen to my heart.

Learned Photoshop by my own, done many experiments with that...love photography..but now I feel I can do only one thing just to like or love such art but deficient of courage to make it work.

Today I see myself nowhere...I'm lost in all ways....can't pretend to be a happiest person But I have ruined my career Oh! I remember I don't have any career....Slowly slowly m getting weaker and weaker....I can feel m corroding from inside...now only things I see in my imagination I'm erasing all those drawings........

Don't want any sympathy and attention pals...as I said,"writing is my medicine"

8 comments:

  1. Only thing missing is "the purpose"....

    Find purpose, Means will follow !!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Purpose" The only thing I have lost ...........

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey,

    There are so many things, I have learn from your post and would like, if you also can learn few things, don't get dishearten sweetheart, I know, these words are coming from someone, who is in the worst situation herself. However, I get myself straight and would love if you to.


    See, first thing, if u like sketching and painting stuff, so, u have all the time to go back to it. If u crib for time, then u have no passion. Its my Motto. Ruchi told me, u r fab cook, Y dont u cook and blog about it. Try new recipes and u can start ur classes. There is whole world of Sanjeev Kapoor, Tarla Dalal for u. Read, try, make, blog about it. U have good sense of photography and photoshop. So, y dont u start taking small projects, like frd's bday party, frd's children bday party,

    Get ur camera and capture some out of the box moments. Start developing the pics, first give it for free and then start charging. U have only told in ur post that u have multiply interest. Its just that, u dont know, how to take the interest out of it.

    Look at me, I love writing and do passionate about it. I got an assignment to design a website for someone, but due to time constraint and hell of others stuff, I refused it. I dont regret cause I dont have time or say inclination to do it. U have time and inclination too, its just that, u need to channelize the energy and stuff like that.

    I guess, its too much as a lecture. Here are few lines for U...



    ‘There are two things to aim in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second’ – Lord Pearsall Smith.



    I had the blues because I had no shoes,

    Until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.



    Dear Lord, I thank thee. I than thee.

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMG! seems I hav troubled everyone......but seriously I hav no words to thank u guyz.........Richa every single word u hav written r true n sometimes ppl need time to think in brief....n so need I right!........Okay Ican't take my words back but I can give myself another chance to try......I was worried about friends in my life but today it seems I got some secret angels.......:)

    ReplyDelete
  5. aww... super nice.... Now get ur head straight to achieve the dreams and unseen round shape career in skeeny weeny shape.. ha ha ha.. cant think anything better than this.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Never mind!!! I liked it!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey why regret, it not the end of the world. You are living in Delhi, you have so much opportunities in your hand, just grab it. You need to shake yourself up and prioritise yourself....
    I completely understand your feelings and confusion...
    I know you are a brilliant girl and have full confidence in you :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yes I need to re-think on this matter......

    ReplyDelete